I think @spikeyxxx is on the right track!
To make it less snappy, add more vertices via subdiv or in edit mode.
but the build modifier seems so random in which order and direction it builds
Every vertex, edge and face has a number associated with it. The first vertex you create is #1, the second is #2, etc. The build modifier is using that order to determine where to start and end. You can actually manipulate this order here:


Place the cursor at the start, set it to both Edges and Vertices , and you’ll be good to go.